Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I'm someone's mommy...

I remember the 1st time I heard someone call my daughter's name and I realized, I'm someone's mommy...
We were sitting in the pediatrician's office 2 days after she was born and the nurse came out and said, "Winter?" and I stared at her unmoving. Hearing her name and feeling her sweet smelling limbs move about in my lap was like the tinkling of a bell in a meditation room signaling the start or end of contemplation.
Winter...
Grace...
It was only after the 2nd or 3rd time her name was called that the fog of awe around me cleared and I was able to propel myself up and out of the chair so that we could be led to an exam room.
I remember when she was born and in all the hullaballo I still didn't know what she was, he or she and I breathlessly asked the nurse,
"What it is?" and she said, "take a look!"
I remember reaching down to take hold of the tiny warm being that was clinging to me in the crook of my arm.  In her newborn state she was like a little piglet. I remember lifting her leg and near screaming as if I'd never seen one before, "it's a girl!" and another time, to and for myself in reference, "it's a girl".
It was as if an angel had fallen down out of the sky right into my lap and from then onwards I was forever changed.

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