When the world begins to swirl I eventually can be found filing and reorganizing in response, alone and protected by a self erected wall of silence and contemplation. Retreat mode in full force.
It has been so busy that all around me I see elements of my life slowly lagging behind and in some cases coming to a full stop, intentional and not. Our laundry has gone without attention for a duration I can't utter here. Its existence occurs to me only when I'm asked by my mother where a particular outfit is for my daughter. Naturally these inquiries have increased and I've half-heartedly pointed her in the direction of Winter's wardrobe and dresser to search in vain several times only to remember when she turns to look at me with a puzzled look that whatever it was is likely in the wash pile. Our home is in need of a deep clean, the kitty sniffs with disdain before entering her box hissing to herself at my delay in changing the litter. I have a growing stack of partially read books piled up, our frozen milk supply is down to 3 bottles, I have not written, studied, intentionally exercised or cooked a meal beyond 3 ingredients in weeks.
I could go on but will spare you the full scene.
A dire need to switch gears...
This month's publication of House Beautiful is Living Large in Small Spaces. There were several homes featured that had ideas I wanted and could try out in my own space. Just spending a few hours undoing areas where piles of stuff and junk had begun to collect and turn hodge podge then editing them and recreating a more organized less cluttered look started freeing my own mental space and is defrosting the block I've been stuck in. I've attacked my desk, part of the kitchen and did my weekly run of Winter's room editing clothes, toys, etc. Its incredible the amount of stuff we can accumulate and for me its a wonder because we have only 2 rooms and I still find excess. And yes, small space means a busy life is more in your face because there's little room to hide but I like that it forces me to keep things up if I want to maintain a nice home for us which I do. The more I edit down the better it feels as I'm realizing if I have what I absolutely love and enjoy around me my space mentally, physically and otherwise will be freer and more enjoyable.
By the way, I have to say I miss my big bed, as you may know I had downsized to a twin so that I could use our apartment as a studio for myself and then let Winter have the bedroom as her own sleep and play space. While I love brownstone living in our case charm came with uneven floors. The twin combined with the permanent tilt is especially grating...its actually frocking annoying and I've found myself longingly staring at photos of sumptuous beds as a result. The studios featured in House Beautiful featured a full size bed and I'm tempted to make a go at incorporating this into my own space. Based on the layout I have now and thought worked best the bed is on the most noticeable part of the uneven floor, real smart, I know. But one of the designers in HB said a bed looks best full on, I agree, and a preference for comfort vs. space. Tough to deliver but try I will.
Of course now I need to wait until Winter's ready for a twin to justify the expenditure but in the meantime I'm going to plot my dream.
So another apartment rewind in the works and in the meantime I will continue my House Beautiful clean-up, find the bottom of my various stacks of mail and unused cookbooks, brush off my yoga mat then tackle the laundry first thing tomorrow AM as my diaper count is now down to less than 5. Scary.
The skies above are clear again...