Starfish Warrior

I have completely dismembered our home and am on the road to rearranging our 1 bedroom apartment into two  mini studios, which I happily have christened our 'sweets'. The result of the transition meant the departure of my very large, very plush pillow top bed to a single, yes...a twin, which I've arranged as a daybed.

I've never been happier.

I've become more and more fond of small living spaces which is why I am a regular follower of Apartment Therapy and Ohdeedoh home design blogs, one with kids in mind, which often spotlight and wax poetic the creative uses of small living space and design. Aside from a smaller eco footprint, less stress and more incentive to remain organized and free of excess the smaller space also contributes positively, at least in our case, to our overall home environment.

Having lived in a variety of home set-ups both large and tiny (flashbacks of my first NYC apartment, the infamous micro studio on York avenue come to mind...). What I've noticed is I do better with less.

As of 7 months we are still co-sleeping and breastfeeding successfully and the loss of the larger sleep space left me wondering if our co-sleeping would be adversely affected given her starfish warrior assumption of any space once she sleeps but I'm very happy to report we've adapted without issue. I know co-sleeping is a controversial topic in American society.  The research in support and opposition led me to feel this was the best decision for us. I'm highly doubtful I would have been able to maintain the milk supply I have without this additional contact at night. It's also contributed more rest overall.

So now she does 'sleepovers in my space and as we continue into the next months and year I will gradually encourage her to transition into her own space full time. I'm introducing the concept by spending more time in her room, 'playing', reading and maintaining naps and early evening in her own bed. I did not experience a problem in getting her to sleep in the crib but I think the security of not existing in a large home and close proximity to sounds and movements of the household around her as a result contributed to this. Regardless, there is no hurry, when she's ready she's ready and I feel a natural pace already has been assumed.

Less can be more.

For a taste of some of the interesting ways parents have adapted small spaces to create a special place their children you should check out the latest entries for Apartment Therapy's Small Cooler 2011 contest for kids.

Slow Family Living

I am completely touched by the concept behind Slow Family Living and many of the decisions I make do reference this ideal set.  While it is difficult in our present society, as a work out of home mom, and a single parent especially, to create the utopia of a conscious attached living environment for my daughter I see the value in the ways I am able to send these messages of connectivity and warmth to her albeit in an adapted capacity given our modern surroundings.

The Slow Family living manifesto appeals to me especially as a single parent because my capacity is divided so thinly into all the various responsibilities I feel are required to maintain our family unit as I want it to be. Slowing down, creating a warm and inviting home, spending quality time, maintaining joy and appreciation for what we have, each other, and being present in the moments are all very important to me so it’s nice to come across this resource and to share it with others.

The Mama Wildebeest

I became very interested in the concept of baby wearing in part because I always thought I simply cannot struggle with a stroller and all its parts on the subway.  I’ve always traveled light and as a matter of convenience it appealed.  Then when the time came for me to consider just how I would get around with my little one practicality set in.

I suddenly became steely eyed at any new item that came into the house.  American babies in particular are the recipients of more stuff than any other infant on the planet.  In your euphoria and sheer confusion you can easily think you need and want it ALL but I found myself on a path to living mindfully.  Aside from that to put it frankly we don’t have the room and I don’t understand (nor have any desire to) the concept of clutter.

I read Jean Liedloff's "The Continuum Concept" and while it was a bit of a stretch I understood the basic message in the benefits of baby wearing and it led me to learning further about attachment parenting principles.  So just as in the movie Away We Go when the couple visits the continuum home played out by Maggie Gyllenhaal’s character, our faces indeed match at that moment when she is presented with the stroller as a gift.  She put hers out on the porch, I had mine shipped to Winnie’s grandmama.

I admit the Moby wrap did and still does confound me.  I saw all that fabric and watched my birth instructor enthusiatically demonstrate and I thought...neeext.  My affair with ring slings has remained true and now of late, the Ergo baby carrier.  I’ve become so proficient in using the sling though that I think I could match any tribal woman in the rain forest carrying positions tie for tie.  The larger Winnie gets the more variations she teaches me based on how she settles herself in.

Remember…close enough to kiss.  That’s the rule with slings and babies.  Baby slings are safe when handled correctly so ask someone to show you if you are unsure.  Given the high use of strollers in our society it’s no wonder our skill set has dropped a notch with the cloth carriers.

Each carrier is different for each person but the ring sling has been the most versatile and light in my world both at home and out.  In the newborn stage the Ergo was the best for Winnie. The sized pouch was short lived, excellent in its security and simpliciy but restrictive.

With my Ergo carrier, parka and bundled petunia I have felt like a mama wildebeest picking my way down the streets but its provided a wonderful way to bond and as an adult party of 1 baby wearing is the way I can remain 4-handed and keep her snuggled once we are on our own.

I am not opposed to getting an umbrella stroller so that we can both have a break as she gets larger but in the baby phase I really don’t understand or see it any other way.  Baby wearing for me means literally that.  Wear her as much as possible as a baby.  I'm very interested in extended child wearing but the larger she gets I am not opposed to making use of a light stroller as needed.

In the meantime, I’m sure you’ll understand our contentment…

From the first moment I saw her, I simply didn’t want to put her down and she wouldn't let go.

To stroll...or not to stroll...

When I was first presented with the idea that I need to spend $1000 on a stroller, I thought my wife and everyone on-line was insane. This is one occasion when I was absolutely correct. I am a physician/surgeon and I needed to read the manual three times to assemble the device, 2 times to figure out how to collapse and unfold the stroller, and another time to figure out how to change from stroller to bassinet and back. After our first trip through the airport (5 months into ownership), the stroller was done. I pump up the tires once/week and have changed the inner tubes to the tires three times in 2 years. All of the foam coverings are either torn, or torn off completely from simple everyday use. We have changed the fabric once due to severe fading in the weather. By the way, none of these are warranty items (I checked). But they are readily available for purchase from your vendor! The stroller was used for daily trips to the park and has been on 2 trips through the airport total.

We now use our stroller from Toys R US, which cost $19.99, for trips to Grandma's or trips through the airport. If something happens to it, I can buy at least 40 more for the price of the bugaboo (sometimes the bugaboo is on sale). But I think that's unlikely since I have had it now for over 1 year and it still works fine. Collapses in 2 seconds with no manuals or instruction!

I came across this charming review by “Simon” regarding his unfortunate experience with a designer stroller and it is a gasp of evidence as to the depths one can go in the baby product and pram world, I shall tread lightly here...

To each her own but in our house the answer was and continues to be simple when asked repeatedly about the stroller purchase (or lack thereof):

We simply don't have one at this time.

Is she serious?  I know you're thinking it and that's OK, remember to each her own.

Welcome to the world of the Continuum Concept as best as I'm able to execute it in a modern world as a work out of home single mom. 

(cue Hitchcock music...)

To be continued...